The Way
by ArtemisPrime
Summary: Life doesn't always take you to where you think it should go. Jayne centred fic. Please review and give your thoughts, whatever they may be.
1. Chapter 1

The Way - by ArtemisPrime 

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon et al own the characters, 'verse and everything else in them. I'm only playing with his toys and not making a single bit of credit off this.

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: finding your way can take you to all kinds of places. Post-BDM.

Thanks to my beta Jacqui for the helpful advice.

Chapter 1

The big man shoved his hands into his pockets, not for the cold wind, but to keep them from doing something he would later regret. His ma always told him to be mindful of himself. Big boys needed to take extra care so as to not hurt those near him. How many times had he learned that lesson growing up? If it wasn't some little kid he was running over, it was his own head banging into something he easily fit under not more than a week earlier.

Yes, his ma had done her best with the man-ape, had loved him the best she could, but in the end, he knew she was disappointed with him. Mindful of not letting too many secrets out about his occupation and past times, she had still known. How could she not? A man like Jayne Cobb was not cut out for sitting in front of a terminal reading Alliance reports all day. If his failure at early school didn't give his ma an indication of his future then his leaving at fourteen most certainly did.

It wasn't that he wanted to leave, not really. He was still just a boy, but in a near man's body. People looked at him like he was older, expected more from him and generally treated him tougher than his brother Mattie. Explained a whole lot to Jayne about his brother being so sickly.

"Always were small." He thought.

Taking another look, he lifted his head and took in the scene. Winter on Harvest was always depressing. Not much snow fell to cover the drab and mud. The earth was solid and unforgiving. And when the winds came, no man nor beast could stand straight. It was a world his grandparents had chosen, his ma had chosen and one Jayne did his best to unchoose.

Footsteps sliding across the frozen ground caught his attention. His hands remained balled in the coat pockets. Squinting, Jayne turned into the wind.

He didn't see the slap coming, but knew who it was from. Had it been anyone else, anyone in the entire 'verse, only blood and gunsmoke would be left of the sumbitch. He peered down at the small woman, toughened with age and geography. Lined eyes stared at the man, eyes that he saw were red and glassy. But she stood tall, proud, even as her words threatened to break her.

"You was supposed to take care a him."

Jayne visibly grimaced, his mouth twitching. How many times in the last few weeks had he thought those very same words? He should have done something. He should have come back sooner or taken the boy away. Something. Anything.

He wanted to beg her to forgive him, but instead, he only towered. Words were just too hard.

His eyes locked on the marker, his brain still not able to comprehend what it saw. He finally released his stare and looked over to the woman, his mother. "I know."

**Before...**

The landing ramp thudded down onto the dock at Boros, bringing into the transport ship the sounds and smells of another backwater planet at night. Just like every other world on the rim,  
Boros had its share of cultures all vying for a place in the 'verse, if not a place in the city to practise whatever little bit of tradition that managed to survive from Earth-That-Was. Vendors hawking cheap wares and cooks frying up some meat or such was commonplace out here.

Only difference with Boros was that, this time, the crew of Serenity had legitimate cause to be here. After the Tracey incident some months back, Malcolm Reynolds was forced into finding a new postmaster. This one, woman by the name of Hendris, had filled the position nicely: did her job with no questions and no small talk. That she had red hair and an ample bosom not unlike a certain other female Reynolds had come across, not nearly as far back in the past as he would prefer, gave him only slight pause. Post was post and for his crew, had been the lifeline to family and friends that seemed too far away.

"All right, y'all." Mal began to his crew at the base of the cargo hold. "We got bout ten hours on this rock.." He turned his attention to the incurably happy mechanic. "Kaylee, that ought to give you mor'an enough time to fix that...thingy."

"You mean the lateral stabiliser?" She said. "The one I've been sayin needed fixin for almost a month now?" The joy in her voice was clear. "Ya mean I can get one"

"Yes." She jumped up to kiss the captain on his cheek. "I just love my cap'n"

Mal rolled his eyes, but Kaylee saw the hint of a smile on his lips. He turned to the rest. "As for the rest a ya, keep yer noses clean and don't cause no ruckus." He headed down the ramp. "Gonna see if I can find some honest work in this place and I don't need to be breakin' people outta jail 'fore it gets done, dong ma? Zoe, you're with me"

"Sir." The first mate followed, her long strides easily matching those of the captain. The pair made their way into the bustling throng, the humid night air quickly making their clothing sticky. They said nothing to each other, having done this routine countless times before. They would go in, find the contact, get the info or goods and get out. Only this time, they were scouting for legal transport, leastways as legal as could be had for Boros.

Mal stopped dead. "Now what did I say about you followin us, Albatross?" He turned to face River standing directly behind him. "We won't be needin your help this time, grateful as I am for the offer"

The young woman cocked her head to the side then straightened it. "Historical precedent"

Mal closed his eyes in exasperation. "Now don't go all remindin me bout history. May not have your smarts"

"Or charm." She interjected with a grin.

"But that don't mean I don't remember a thing or two about my previous dealin's with folk in this region." _Don't think about Prudentia_, he thought. _And sure as hell don't think about Prudentia that night_.

River's grin broadened.

Mal bit his tongue. "Don't go pokin about my head, girl"

Zoe stifled her own smirk at Mal's embarrassment. "Sir"

"Yes!" He gratefully turned to his first mate, thankful at the diversion. "Our meeting"

"Right." He faced River. "Now get to your brother." He walked two steps before turning round. "And no killin"

River smiled then skipped away, leaving Mal to continuously wonder at how such a girl could get under his skin.

Simon beamed. There was no other way for him to look at his Angel. No matter where she went, there was happiness to be found somewhere. Now, here in this junk pile -- "Ain't no junk pile, Simon Tam! This here's Serenity's paradise." -- he couldn't help himself. Gentle hands encircled her waist, his lips lying low on the nape of her neck. She gasped lightly as his cool breath tickled the wet spots his tongue had just left. She opened more of her neck to him, a dangling bit of metal ignored in her hand.

Truth was, she found the thrill of Simon's touch in public to be more erotic than the touch itself. The boy had finally started to loosen up. It wasn't just sex in the bunk or engine room anymore. The infirmary, secret cargo holds and even the galley were no longer sacred. Simon spent as much time as possible just being near Kaylee, feeling her passion against him whenever possible. He was sure that the crew was sick of their open affection, but he didn't care. He had much time to make up for.

An exaggerated cough brought the pair back to reality. "You like"

"Very much," Simon grinned like a schoolboy, his eyes still on the mechanic.

"I mean to say, you like the part?" A man pointed to the object in Kaylee's hand.

Simon jumped back, his brain kicking in that someone was watching his display that he was sure he did not want watching.

"It's perfect." Kaylee replied, all business-like. "So we'll take this..." She pointed towards other items previously gathered around her " and all of these."

The man's expression was happy. "Now we talk"

Simon stepped back and witnessed in awe the negotiator that was Kaylee. Her time on Serenity had honed a bartering streak in her to a fine point. She knew the value of the items and weighed it against need and Mal's strict budget. In the end, she walked away with all items plus a little more.

"You are amazing." Simon cooed into her ear as they left.

"I am, aren't I?" She giggled. "We've got some time, ya know. Maybe time for..." Her eyes sparkled.

"Here? Now?" Simon stopped and surveyed the surroundings. It was one thing to kiss a neck or lips, but to have sex in such a filthy, greasy yard as this was beyond his newly found freedom.

"Come on." Kaylee tugged on his hand and pulled him into the market centre, right into the fruit vendor. She stood rock solid in front of the strawberries, eyes hungry and lustful. "How much for one?"

"Sir, are you sure about this?" Zoe inquired.

Mal took a drink. "Zoe, you got to stop frettin. It'll work out." He took another drink. "Trust me"

She answered with her typical "Yes, Sir" but without any feel of confidence. The contact was late and the bar was overly filled with what looked to be good, solid, upright Alliance citizens. She did a quick calculation and relaxed; it wasn't Unification Day.

"You're the man then?" A voice said, sliding into the empty seat next to Zoe. He gave her the once over and she immediately felt a need to scrape all her skin off. Or a bit of time with Wash in their... She forced the words from her brain. Focus on here and now, she demanded herself.

"Depends." Mal answered. "What kind of man you lookin for?"

A toothy grin spread across the ugly man's face. "The kind that follows the letter of Alliance law." He leaned back. "Word is you and yours did something to right piss off the Feds. Not sure how much of a good idea that was." He sat forward again, his arms crossed on the edge of the table. "Don't know what it was, but that only brings a smile to my face. I know who you are, Captain Reynolds and I know that you keep your word once given."

A warning voice was telling Mal to walk away. Push the chair away, stand, turn and walk out the door.

"Relax, Captain. I'm no Fed." He gestured around the room. "Have to make appearances convincing, wouldn't you agree"

"I'm sorry, but was there a part I missed, like you tellin me what the gorram hell you are doing sitting there interruptin my quest for honest transport? I was told there'd be some work, but this don't sound much like it"

"Easy, Captain. I have a job for you. Very simple. Very easy"

The warning voice was yelling. Had he looked to Zoe, he would have seen her uneasiness.

"I only want information"

Mal sat back, sliding a leg out from under his chair. "What makes you think I've got any"

The man shrugged. "Cortex is buzzing with rumours about how it's possible that a whole planet could be habitable with no one in the 'verse knowing"

"And this causes you talkin to me how"

"Because I know that ship bout your size was attacked by a navy of Alliance warships and survived the attack. Survived and walked away with nary a scratch. Now how does that happen unless you've got something over Them, something They don't want you to be telling people about"

Zoe bit her tongue. _Was more than a scratch you hun dun_.

"T'would seem to me." Mal said in close. "That you've got all the information you could possibly want. And that you've got the wrong captain." He stood and looked to Zoe. "Best check in with the postmistress."

Mal and Zoe moved to leave when Mal felt the man grab his arm. Without pausing, Mal had twisted and reversed the grip. "You have one option here, friend, so you best think hard on whether or not to use it." Mal's whispered voice was loud in the man's ear.

The man's face was pained, but he made no cry out. No one seemed to notice the tiny skirmish. "What's the name of the planet"

Mal's brow narrowed. That's what this go se wanted to know? How long had he'd been out in the black that this weren't common knowledge? The captain released his hold, the man immediately cradling his arm. "People will pay for that knowledge, Captain. I will." As proof, he handed over a fifty credit piece. "For your time." Dipping his head, he left.

Mal pocketed the money and quickly left.

He sometimes wondered if Inara did anything like what he did. He took in a woman, sexed her up, enjoyed it, then would do it again. Hell, that's pretty much what the Companion did, wasn't it? Except that he doubted she enjoyed it nearly as much as he did. He reckoned that few people in the whole 'verse loved sex the way he did.

God, he loved it! Just gorram loved it! There was nothing better than looking at those breasts,  
tracing the circles on them, moving down to the ticklish part of her tummy and further down to the nethers. He relished the feel of her body moving in motion with his; the pumping and trembling until the final release. Practise had made perfect and Jayne knew how to make a woman feel perfect. Though he'd never admit it, he always wanted the woman to enjoy him as much as he enjoyed her. If a man couldn't please his woman, he wasn't a man, his first Captain had instructed him all those years ago. That had been about the only advice that moron had imparted worth holding on to.

That and to never have a gun more than arm's reach away. He received two bullet scars in learning that lesson.

Still, he did wonder, his arms holding his body over the woman - what was her name? - so as to avoid crushing her, his member pushing into her with mutual groans of pleasure. Did Inara yell? He doubted it. Wouldn't be very civilised to howl like a banshee. Course Jayne didn't yell either, but he sure did groan an awful lot.

With one final thrust, the whore cried out. He side grinned, his manly duty finished. Now if only the air conditioner worked in this gorram building, he'd feel even better. As it was, the sweat dripped from his brow, down his temples and along his nose. Drops landed on her neck as he slide himself out and leaned back on his knees. He roughly wiped his forehead with an equally wet forearm.

"Need some cool air." He breathed heavily.

"There's ice...over there." The whore looked to the dresser and the containment unit. Jayne rose, letting the air play over his body as he opened the case and popped in a couple of cubes into his mouth.

"Me, too." She said, leaning against the headboard. He tossed one and she slid it across her chest and neck. "Mmm"

Jayne cocked an eyebrow. He was about to say something about another round when he heard the chime of a clock down the hall. He'd been here nearly two hours. Mal said ten hours on planet, that left... He grinned.

**Before...**

The bed was warm and hard. The pillow was old. The room hadn't been redecorated since the Captain had taken ownership. And if she breathed the right way, she could smell the former,  
former occupant. She wrinkled her nose, eyes closed; he hadn't believed in soap.

Without opening her eyes, River turned her head on the pillow and reached her arm out. Touching the wall, she smiled. The ship sang a happy song. Serenity sang during times like this when everyone was content. She was doing all that Kaylee asked, no one was trying to ram her and those horrid, horrid creatures were no longer on her skin, searing and painful. The black was empty and calm and Serenity liked that best.

"This will be a good day for you." River said, sitting up. "Today you will know freedom. Today you will know love." She fingered the wall once again. "I love you"

"I love you, too, River." Simon said walking in. River turned and scowled.

"Oral hygiene is of paramount importance when rations are questionable"

"I'll be sure to remember that." He answered, not entirely sure why River was scolding him about tooth brushing. Like most everything else about him, Simon took great pride in maintaining his teeth and to have River question that was strange. Kaylee, though, hadn't said a word.

"And also when having oral relations with others." River added then bounded out of the bed to the communal head.

Simon brought his hand to his mouth, his face turning a little more than red.

When the Captain announced the short stay at Boros, River nearly fell over from the wave of relief that came from the crew. She knew that they had spent too long in the black and were desperate to find land and blue sky. Sitting on her chair, she broke into a grin. Breakfast that morning became a little more joyful despite the dried out protein packs.

Without looking up from the soupy protein 'cereal', she continued to smile as the thoughts of time off ship came as colours off the crew. Kaylee was red with passion; Simon glowed orange with some cool blue. River frowned slightly. Too much worrying about her was bad for him. Even worse were his thoughts of finding more facilities to help her. The white hot from Jayne returned her grin; some trim would do him good. Inara felt gold; shiny and hard exterior, but soft if given the right amount of heat. Zoe was...grey, just like always since Miranda. She wanted to turn colour, but grey was safe and blah. The Captain, now he was indigo; he could go from seawater blue to rich violet quickly enough depending on the situation around him. Now, she decided, he was seawater blue, like the captures of the ocean off Australia from Earth-That-Was. Life was in those waters, but you had to know where to go to avoid the sharks.

Somewhere in the back of her head, a tickle really, was the feeling of dark. Not dark like Early or Dobson, but like That Man. This dark was going to bring pain. She eyed Jayne who was regaling the crew with some silly joke about sex, dogs and a bartender.

The dark was coming.

**Later...**

"Gorram it!" Mal cursed.

Where in hell was Jayne? These crates weren't about to move themselves from the post to the mule. He started to wish that he had the crazy girl's reading abilities to tell him where the mercenary was right about now. He paused; no, he didn't need to know exactly where, given that it had been some time since they'd made planetfall and Jayne being Jayne, well, he got the picture quite clearly.

"Hey, Cap'n," Kaylee called, the bounce in her step noticeable. The Captain chuckled. The bounce in the doctor's step was even more noticeable. "Got that part an all this stuff with it. Real cheap."

Mal held out his hand which Kaylee briefly examined. "Weren't nothin left over." She grinned. Mal's eyebrows went up and he glanced towards Simon.

Simon only shrugged. "Strawberries."

Mal stifled a sigh, but said nothing. Keeping the ship's mechanic happy meant a happy ship. He grabbed the box of mechanical supplies and loaded them onto the mule. He then tossed a brown wrapped package to Kaylee. "This came for you, Kaylee"

She positively squealed when reading the return address. "It's from my folks!" She beamed up at Simon. "Wonder what they sent."

Simon unloaded his own box of materials. "Open it up."

From seemingly nowhere, River poked her head over Kaylee's shoulder. "You'll like it." She said with a smile. "Teddies."

"River!" Simon chastised, visions of lingerie type teddies flashing before his eyes and the concurrent horror that his sister would be aware of such things. "And where did you go to? You can't be alone here. If the Alliance discovers..."

"Oooh." Kaylee interrupted Simon's scolding and dropped the box and showed off the handmade jacket with a teddy bear on each chest pocket. "Isn't it just the shiniest?" She held it up for all to see, her smile nearly blinding them.

Simon, of course, returned the smile. "It's very... original." He waited for a response, fearful that Kaylee would take his meaning the wrong way. He still shuddered at his bungled joke at the Bessie exhibit.

"Ain't it?" She thrust it towards the Captain, her face expectant with praise.

"Sure not likely to keep you warm." He said, his attention still on themule.

Kaylee's face dropped a little.

"It's a wonderful gift, Kaylee." Inara commented as she slid in from the crowd. "Because it's from home."

She now stood next to the younger woman. Briefly, she eyed Mal. He had been remarkably restrained these last few weeks, even more so when she announced a client would be waiting for her in the city. Not one whore joke. She wondered if Mal might be going insane.

"Home." Kaylee sighed then put it on. "Fits real good." She pulled the bottom edge down and looked to Simon. "Whaddya think?"

_Hadn't I already answered that question? _he thought. He briefly looked to Zoe, her arms crossed and an expectant look of 'Go ahead, Doc, tell the girl what you really think.' He swallowed and stared at his girl in her new favourite jacket. He couldn't help but smile again. She glowed. There was no other way to describe her joy of having something come from home. He reached for her hand.

"I think that something that brings you such happiness can only be beautiful."

Zoe's eyes widened in amazement. River clapped. Inara's face softened after only lightly showing mild tension over what Simon could possibly say. Mal rolled his eyes.

"Come on, people. They'll be time enough for fashion shows once we get on board." He finished with the last box onto the mule then checked once again to feel the coins in his pocket. Of the fifty credits he received for his "information", only six were left. Figured it was time to give the crew a little treat where food was concerned so he splurged on some fresh vittles.

Climbing onto the mule, Mal, Zoe, River and Inara headed back to the ship. Simon and Kaylee walked together as she read the enclosed letter detailing the latest comings and goings from home.

The boxes were unloaded and the mule was put away before the loving couple returned. Jayne, however, was still not to be found. Mal was more than a little peeved.

"I swear, if Jayne decides t'haul his ass in this general direction, he'll be wishin..."

"Don't be gettin yer panties in a knot, Mal. I'm a here." The merc walked up the ramp, looking none the worse for wear, even a little springy. "We get any food?"

Zoe eyed Mal who decided, for the moment, to ignore the hired gun's self-obsession. "Get the mule up. We'll be takin off soon as-"

"I'm here!" River interrupted with glee.

"Bwah!" Mal jumped. "Yer about to give this captain a gorram heart attack ya keep sneakin up in such a way." Taking a breath, he continued. "Get on up to the cockpit and prep the ship for takeoff. Kaylee, if ya can get it inta yer head to break your hold on the doc and get t'the engine room, it would be most appreciated."

"Sure, Cap'n." She snuck one more kiss from Simon before pulling him towards the innards of the ship.  
River didn't do as instructed. Rather, she pulled the package from behind her back and held it out to Jayne, who had just finished hoisting the mule to the top of the cargo hold.

"I got post?" Jayne nearly smiled. He snatched the package, oblivious to the sudden mood change in the girl. He examined the address then looked to the trio. "From my ma."

Visions of orange, pom-pomed hats floated past Mal's eyes. "Shiny, now get t'where ya need to be." He headed to the cockpit, Zoe moving to the galley with the bag of food and Jayne went to his bunk. River watched him amble off as he shook the small box wondering what might be inside.

"Dark. Dark and cold." Taking one final stare, River went to cockpit.

**Later...**

He wasn't much for soft emotions. Crying was for women and younguns. But as Jayne sat on his bunk, he felt the tears form, blurring the paper hanging loosely in his hand. No hat or other knitted object had found its way inside. Only a slip of paper with a bunch of words; only two mattered.

The ship was singing again. She was in the black, filled with people who loved her and no extra demands were on her. The Captain had left to see what meal preparations were being done leaving River alone in the co-pilot's seat.

She drew her legs into her chest, her toes curling over the edge. Her cheek leaned on her knees and tears fell from her eyes as two words played in her mind: Mattie's dead.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

The Way - by ArtemisPrime

Chapter 2

The morning was cold, leastways colder than he was accustomed to. He could see his breath frosted in the air and his mug of coffee steamed in his gloved hand. He pulled his coat further around him with his free hand as a shiver went up his spine.

The world was quiet this morning without even a bird to break the silence. Pausing in his scan of the rough landscape, Mal could hear footsteps, heavy on the metal floor, from inside. He took a sip of the drink and let it warm his insides.

"Decision's done, then?" he asked as Jayne took his spot near the Captain.

"Yep," came the slow reply.

Mal nodded casually as though this were an everyday occurrence. He finished the rest of his coffee then faced the mercenary. "All right then."

Jayne re-positioned his rucksack on his shoulder. He never much cared for saying good-bye and this time was no different. "Well." He cast his eyes down, not focussing on anything in particular.

"Well."

With a quick look to the eye and nod, Jayne tromped down the landing plank once more re-positioning his pack. Mal watched him a moment then hit the close button. He didn't quite understand what he was feeling at that moment, whether it was relief or sadness, but he knew that decisions, once made, were best left to be carried out.

Jayne never turned when he heard the engines rev louder for take-off nor when he felt the gust of updraft as the ship went into atmo. No, he had someplace else he needed to think on. Past was done; no sense in thinking any more on it.

For one moment, though, Jayne allowed himself a little remembrance. _No guns this time_, he thought. _Words were passed and now the deal's done. Weren't nothin' to it._

But there was something to it, he could feel it in his gut. This wasn't like the last time he changed locales; no gunplay or threats of imminent death. He'd said his bit to Mal and it was over. Weren't ever done so easily before. Yet he knew that this wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot.

Only when he reached the small house over the rise did he stop his thinking. Opening the squeaky door, he dropped his pack just inside the doorway.

"Jayne?" His ma called from the back kitchen. "That you?"

"Yeah, Ma." He pulled off his coat and tossed it onto the nearby chair. "It's me."

**Before...**

The laughter from the galley was more than Jayne could tolerate at this particular moment. All he'd wanted to do was breeze on past, head down, and lift some weights. Strange that a rush of adrenaline would calm his nerves, but somehow it did. He remembered after losing the Shepherd that he'd spent the better part of a week in the cargo hold, pumping and pushing the bits of iron up and down or pulling himself up on the handholds under the catwalk. That kind of work was clean and simple. It let him focus his mind on the burn in his arms and other muscles rather than the burn in his heart. He missed the Shepherd something fierce. Not especially religious, Jayne did respect what the preacher had done and how he was the peace that allowed the ship to function. More precisely, had allowed Mal to function. Even dumb old Jayne could see the change in the Captain since Book's passing.

Right now, he needed that peace once again.

But no, there were three of them, Inara, Simon and Kaylee, sitting at the end of the table laughing about some such or other.

"Hi, Jayne," Kaylee called. "Want some wine?" She gestured to the open jug. "Fresh from last week."

Jayne scowled and kept on walking. Kaylee looked puzzled until she felt the nuzzle of Simon's lips on her neck and hair. She giggled. "We should invite Jayne. He's got plenty a jokes."

Inara raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps, but I doubt that even your wine could lessen the vulgarness of them." She took a sip.

"Oh Inara, that's just Jayne," Kaylee answered. "Deep down, I'll bet he's good." She scrunched her ear to her shoulder as Simon hit an especially sensitive spot. "Course, he ain't the only one." She eyed the doctor seductively.

Without pause, Simon rose, grabbed Kaylee's hand and the pair strode very purposely to his bunk. "Bye, Inara," Kaylee called out. "Good talkin t'ya." Her giggles echoed down the passageway.

The Companion smiled and finished her drink. She removed herself from the table, rinsed her glass and went to the cockpit. She found River at the controls, staring out into the starry black. "See anything interesting out there?"

River cocked her head. "Points of gaseous light all coming together. Be careful not to get in their path."

Inara smiled. "Is there anything you need, Sweetie?"

River reached for the dinosaurs still on the control board. "Sadness hurts."

The older woman laid a gentle hand on River's shoulder. "We all miss Wash."

River turned with a perplexed expression. "Wash isn't sad." She held out the dinosaur. "The big one is."

The sweat felt good sliding down his chest and back, but it blurred his vision. Sitting up on the weight bench, he towelled his face and allowed his pulse rate to come back to normal. The last set had been the hardest and he'd pushed himself more than he should have. He knew his shoulders and back were going to hurt tomorrow, but for now, he needed the burn.

"We've been through this before," Mal stated firmly to Zoe as they descended the stairs from the catwalk. "Work is work."

"Like at Paradiso or on Lilac?" Zoe stopped at the bottom of the steps, hands on hips.

Mal rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh and faced his first mate. "That would have worked out quite nicely, thank-you very much, if the gorram reavers had stuck to their bit o' the 'verse." He mentally kicked himself the moment the words had left his mouth.

If Zoe hurt from the comment, she didn't show it. "Just seems to me, sir, that maybe we ought to start thinking on the jobs we take." She paused before continuing. "Think them through a bit more."

"You want that I shoulda told that piece of go se Miranda's name? Don't rightly know how he couldn't a known, nor the whole 'verse after the signal we sent."

"Not saying that."

"Then what is it your words are saying, Zoe, 'cause I'm a mite confused."

She said nothing, knowing that the Captain was well aware of her intended meaning.

"Look," Mal continued in a softer tone, "we've all been through a lot these last few months, you more 'n most, but we got to keep pushin' through. If we don't keep flyin' then there ain't no point." He looked hard at her, wishing he saw a little twinge of understanding in her large eyes to show that she supported him fully, but he knew that wasn't going to happen again. Though she never said it, he often thought that she blamed him for Wash's death. If Mal hadn't given the order to go to Miranda then Wash'd still be alive and Zoe would be whole. As it stood now, Zoe may be holding together, but a piece of her was missing.

"Yes, sir," she said simply.

"Alright then." He smiled his charming smile. "I'm gonna check the cortex t'see if any waves have come our way from our contacts." He strode out the hold. "Must be someone out there who still loves us." He walked past Jayne, ignoring the sweating man.

Jayne looked to Zoe who remained rooted. He was about to say something when she took a long blink then heel-turned back up the steps.

He sniffed and wiped his towel across his nose. With a grunt, he lay back down and grasped the bar for another set.

She found the nights the most difficult times to endure. Lying alone in the now oversized bed, the one that had seemed so small not far long ago, Zoe's thoughts couldn't help but turn to her husband. She smiled in spite of herself of the last memory of them in that bed.

"_But honey, sweetums, snooky-bear-"_

_Zoe cocked an eyebrow. "Snooky-bear?"_

_Wash shrugged. "What? Not romantic enough?"_

_She laughed playfully. "You are starting to lose it, husband."_

_He reached over to her, his fingers playing along her arm and across to her tummy. "That's kind of the point." He bent his head forward and kissed her shoulder._

"_You can't possibly want more?" she said, though not entirely surprised._

"_More? I want it all! Total domination. Universal control..." He stopped. "Well, okay, maybe just a little bit." He gestured with his index finger and thumb. "Maybe this much more?" He widened the space between the digits until Zoe slapped his hand._

"_You are insatiable."_

_Wash grinned maniacally. "Well, yes, but not nearly so much as this guy I once met on Ezra. Had the biggest collection of forks you ever saw."_

Rising from the bed, she slipped her robe about her and headed for the kitchen. Perhaps some warmed powdered milk would help her sleep.

She was surprised to find Jayne sitting at the table, a bit of paper in his hands. Not stopping to speak, she reached to fill a pot with water to begin warming the dehydrated milk.

"You ever get post, Zoe?" Jayne's quiet voice nearly made Zoe jump. She didn't think he could speak so softly.

"Got no one to send me anything." She put the pot on the stove and waited, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the back counter, her eyes on Jayne's back.

Jayne grunted. "Better off."

She eyed him, but didn't question his comment. She didn't have to.

"See, thing is, ya either get good news or bad news. Don't ever seem to be anythin' in b'tween." He turned the paper over in his hand. "Not like ya can do anythin' about it nohow seein' as it's already happened by th'time it gets t'ya."

Zoe's brow furrowed. Jayne waxing poetic?

"I mean, take this." He turned in his chair to face the woman, his arm draped over the side and his other holding the sheet. "Got this near on four weeks after it was wrote. Now what in hell am I s'posed to do? Can't change nothin' or fix it." He faced the table again. "Not like I coulda anyway." He continued to turn the paper over, staring hard at it.

Zoe stepped to the table and sat. She pointed to the paper. "Maybe you're not supposed to fix it."

Jayne looked to her. "Then why give me the bad news. Why not just let me be content with what I think is real?"

"'Verse ain't about pretending, Jayne. You know that."

He balled up the paper and threw it harshly across the galley. "'Course I know that, but at least I could sleep knowin' that he'd be gettin' better, 'stead a th'other way 'round." He slammed his hand on the wood. "Fuck! Baby brothers ain't s'posed t'die!"

Zoe blanked, her eyes threatening to break. Husbands weren't supposed to die either, but they did.

The hum of the night run of the ship was the only sound.

Finally, after a more than long enough pause, Jayne continued, his anger subsiding. "Aw, hell, Zoe, guess we ain't destined for nothin' more than ourselves."

She sat back slowly in the wooden chair. "You're wrong."

"Huh?"

She rose to take the bubbling pot off the heat. She carefully filled her cup then set the pot back down. Grabbing the cup between two hands, she blew across the top and took a small sip. "Destiny doesn't make us, Jayne. We do. We choose." She went back to her bunk a smile forming on her lips. _Thank-you for choosing me, husband_.

**Before...**

River stepped easily from the co-pilot's chair, letting her hand drag across the console. Today was a day of love and Serenity knew it. But this kind of love was of pain.

In the bunk occupied by Jayne Cobb, Serenity had heard and felt the pained love of a brother lost. The big man was not a favourite of the ship's; he was vulgar and sometimes smelled bad. Yet, the ship knew he was important in the family. He was the protector, the big brother to everyone. Everyone except the Captain.

When Jayne read the letter from his ma, read it again and again, Serenity knew something wasn't right. Jayne was hardly ever quiet. Even sleeping, he made all sorts of strange groans and moans and while he was awake, everyone was privy to his mind's thoughts, desired or otherwise. She told River and River explained why Jayne was quiet.

He was too sad for words.

River's bare feet went silently from the bridge to the entrance of Jayne's bunk. She tilted her head and listened, eyes closing. She felt the red from the mercenary, his anger at himself raging through. She touched the bulkhead telling Serenity that one of her family was hurting. She stayed that way a good long time until she no longer felt the red. Jayne was asleep, his thoughts foggy and vague.

"River? What are you doing?" Simon stepped through the doorway from the kitchen. "It's late." He stood next to her.

"She needs to know then she'll understand."

"Who needs to know what, mei-mei?" Simon reached a hand to his sister and gently pulled her to him. "You need to get some sleep."

River let him lead her back to her quarters, but before she entered, she looked Simon in the eye with the most clear expression he had seen from her since she left for the Academy. "Jayne's not a robot, you know. He feels things. That makes him human."

"Yes, we all know how sensitive he is to the plight of others."

"Not a man-ape."

"Where is this sudden concern for Jayne coming from?" He looked hard at his sister. "Has he...did he-"

"Not a man-ape," she repeated.

Simon held in a deep sigh. "No, he's not a man-ape."

River smiled and kissed her brother's cheek then bounded into her bed. Simon said good-night, closed the door and wondered what in Buddha's name his sister had been babbling about.

**Later...**

"Mal? Need t'talk t'ya." Jayne yelled over his shoulder.

"I'm a little busy here at the moment." He ducked under a large, swinging piece of wood that had once been a table leg. "Maybe I can schedule ya in after the brawl an' before the fight." He blocked another swing, his forearm crashing the forearm of his attacker.

Jayne clotheslined another man running towards the Captain. He smiled a little. After the Maidenhead incident, he'd become fond of that particular move. Though it did divert his attention from the small man who whacked a glass across the back of Jayne's head. Dropping his arm, the mercenary turned and sneered causing the little man to squeak and attempt to run away. Jayne grabbed the man's coat with a violent pull and swung him into a support post. The crack of bone gave him a satisfying smirk.

Turning once more, he found that any and all would-be attackers were lying painfully on the ground, moans escaping from them. Jayne stepped over one, though his boot caught the man's fingers. He smirked again. Violence could be fun sometimes.

He found the Captain speaking to the bartender. "Now the way I figure it, we only owe for two beers, not three like your barmaid seems to think." He pointed to the formerly occupied and standing table that was now dust and splinter. "You can plainly see only two mugs. Well, the remains of two mugs."

Still shocked at the fight that had erupted, the barman stood gaping and silent. Mal took this as a gesture of goodheartedness and slapped down the right amount of coin for payment. "Lovely place this...what's this place called again?" He stared at the bartender, even waved his hand in front of the man's eyes, but he was still mute. Mal shrugged and walked out. Jayne followed in tow. "You said somethin' about havin' to talk?" He jumped into the mule and started the engine.

Jayne climbed in beside. "'Bout our deal."

"What deal would that be? The one where ya promise t'not sell out my crew and I promise t'not send ya out the airlock?"

Jayne winced a little over that memory and felt the pain of something sharp in the back of his neck. Reaching behind, he pulled a shard of glass then flicked it away. "Our first deal."

Mal steered the mule around a sharp corner then levelled it out as they made their way out of town. "Little more specifics here, Jayne."

The merc bit his lip. "Th'one 'bout me bein' on board. Bein' yer muscle an' tracker."

The Captain faced Jayne. "You want more money? Look, Jayne, ya know how tough it's been out here of late. Can't really afford to give you a raise at this juncture in time."

"That ain't what I mean."

"Then what?"

Serenity sat before them, a little ways off. Deftly bringing her into the hold, Mal powered the mule down and jumped out. He reached the comm button and signalled to River to warm up the ship. He turned to find Jayne still in the flying machine. With furrowed brow, he strode to the man. "What is in your head?"

Jayne stepped then jumped from the mule. "I need t'go home."

Mal continued with his inquisitive look. He reached a hand behind Jayne's head. "How did this get in your skull?" He held out the large-ish piece of glass dripping with blood.

"Hey, Cap'n," Kaylee's cheery voice greeted. "Make the pick up?"

"I most certainly did." He pulled slip of paper from his hip pocket, holding it up for her to see. "First though, get Jayne to see the Doc."

"Why? Oh!" She spied the shard and blood. "Jayne? You alright?" She reached her hand to his arm. "C'mon. Simon'll fix ya up real good." She lead him to the infirmary, Jayne not making a fuss whatsoever, something that perplexed Mal. Wasn't like the big man to go quietly and willingly to see the Doctor nor to not make any grand announcement about how grievously he'd been injured.

Shaking his head, he attached the cables to the mule and lifted her to spot near the ceiling of the hold. He then went into the bridge and found River in the pilot's chair. She looked at him with a motherly don't-even-think-of-lying-me-about-this-one kind of look. "What?" he asked innocnet-like. "Only protected the honour of a young woman."

River continued her stare.

"And no, it wasn't like the last time." He scowled. "Merely had a conversation with a woman who just wasn't my wife. Who knew that was illegal in these parts. Let's get this bird in the air and head to this meet up." He gave River the paper and she brought the controls on line. Shortly thereafter, Serenity was where she liked it best.

Simon looked up from his notes when Kaylee entered the infirmary with Jayne. His brow furrowed at how much he didn't like the image of his girl on the arm of the resident heavy. "What's wrong?"

"Got into a fight by the looks," Kaylee replied. She lead Jayne to the bed where he sat with a thump.

"Where are you hurt?" The Doctor pulled on his medical gloves and began a visual scan of Jayne.

"Back here." Kaylee pointed to the man's head.

Further investigation revealed smaller pieces of glass lodged in Jayne's head that were removed with very little wincing and only one curse. The Doctor began stitching with Kaylee offering moral support and an occasional scissor to cut the thread.

"You're done," Simon announced, pulling off his gloves. "Come back in a couple of days and we'll change that bandage."

Jayne stood. "Thanks, Doc," he said just louder than a murmur on his way out.

Kaylee looked to Simon with a big grin on her face as Simon's own brows shot up. Jayne never, ever thanked the doctor for doing anything. "That was sure nice a Jayne to say."

"Yes." Simon paused wondering if something more devious was going through the mercenary's mind then remembered his conversation months earlier and River's declaration of her brain power. He began cleaning the area. "A little odd, though."

"How do ya mean?"

"Well, for one thing, he didn't yell at me the entire time I sewed him up. Secondly." He put his instruments in the sanitiser then faced Kaylee. "He said thank-you."

"Maybe Jayne's finally learnin' some manners." Her beau's expression quelled that idea. "Or maybe he's learnin' t'appreciate ya more. Sorta like I am." She ran her fingers across his shirt. Simon smiled, but pulled her hand away. "I need to finish my work here." He moved back to the counter with his notes.

"Can't ya take a little break?" She leaned her cheek to his back, preventing him from sitting.

"I'd like to, bao-bai, but I think I'm on the verge of something with River. It could go far in giving her more emotional control." He pulled out an image and sat on the stool, missing the disappointment as Kaylee straightened.

"Guess I could go check out my girl."

"Mm." Simon was now engrossed in his research once again.

"Alrighty then." She slapped her hands together and backed out. "Just be in th'engine room." When Simon made no further response, she abruptly turned and marched out. "Gorram zhu tu, Simon. And you were just gettin' so much better," she muttered loudly under her breath. She stomped through to the kitchen. "Spent all that time then ya finally start reactin'." She flopped on the lounge chair, her tirade continuing into the empty room. "Not like ya couldn'ta done yer work after. Not like I was askin' ya to never do it." She stopped and rolled her eyes up. "And how many times has the Cap'n told us 'bout keepin' the kitchen neat an tidy?" She stormed from her chair to a corner of the kitchen and snatched up a crumpled piece of paper. "People throwin' their papers around and who's there t'clean up? Me." She took the paper to the waste chute and was ready to toss it when she decided that it may have something important on it, though she didn't know what would be so crucial that a body would throw it into the corner. Still.

Unwrapping the page, her eyes widened at the contents. She finished and felt all her mopeyness drain away.

Jayne went through every drawer, every shelf in his search for the letter from his ma. He overturned his mattress and found only his girly magazines and his knife Clara. "Gorram it! Where in Hades' hell is it?" He tore apart his clothes dresser with no luck. "Gotta be here. Can't have lost it."

With renewed vigour, he went up the ladder from his quarters and went towards the kitchen. Something about last night and Zoe clued in his brain. Fuck! He'd thrown it away! He walked quickly down the hall to see Kaylee standing near the entrance. He stopped.

She had the damn thing in her hands and looked to have read it. He stormed into the kitchen and yanked the page from her grip. "Don't be readin' things that ain't yours." His words hit her hard and she jumped.

"Jayne, I...I didn't mean..." Her eyes looked up to him and for that moment, he regretted his words. They held the gaze a moment until he turned his back to her.

"Yeah, well." He was half way to his bunk before he felt Kaylee's hand lightly touch his own.

"Jayne?"

When he didn't respond, she called his name again. "Is there anything I can do?"

He stared very hard at the wall in front of him, finding endless fascination with it to avoid Kaylee's soft face and teary eyes. When she gripped his hand a little more tightly, he chanced a glance to her.

"No, li'l Kaylee," he said in a deep and low voice. "Ain't nothin' nobody can do."


	3. Chapter 3

The Way - ArtemisPrime

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon et al own the characters, 'verse and everything else in them. I'm only playing with his toys and not making a single bit of credit off this.

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: finding your way can take you to all kinds of places. Post-BDM.

One other thing: Jayne uses the clothesline and head drop at the heist on Lilac, not the Maidenhead. Sorry for that.

Chapter three

The town of Bountiful was the founding planetary fathers' idea of a good idea. Optimism had run high in settling that town on Harvest. They posted advertisements all over the Core worlds picturing green pastures with fat cows. Come live the old west, the ads had said. Live the life of a pioneer, but with full amenities. With a name like Harvest, how could you fail?

Families flocked, bringing much sought after cash and hope. They landed, built homes, barns and the town proper. And the planetary fathers were happy.

Until the glich that no terraformer bothered to mention could happen. Seemed the planet went through some sort of seismic activity every four-hundred years or so that rendered it dry. Cows thinned and died, their bleached bones littering the landscape around Bountiful. Some folks left, others felt themselves made of tougher stuff and plugged on. When rain did come, there was jubilation and excitement, but with the ground dust, the rain only made mud. And mud was just too hard to til.

The effect was a dying town and townsfolk that were tough and ornery.

Jayne's mother was no exception.

With her head titled down, Louise Emma Jayne rolled her eyes up into the shopkeeper's face. "Now, Bill, we both know what's goin on here. Let's not pretend."

Bill the shopkeeper kept silent.

"You think that jus' cause I'm in the mourning way that you think you can take monetary advantage of a poor old lady."

"Now, Emma, don't be that way. Times are tough all over. Ask anyone from the Rim an' they'll tell you."

Emma crossed her arms. "I have." She nodded over her right shoulder to Jayne eyeing a magazine on the shelf. "But I don't see him bein' taken advantage of."

Bill looked past the woman, his eyes widening then narrowing. "That your other boy?"

She nodded.

"Didn't much expect him to come back these ways." He kept his focus on the former mercenary. Jayne, for his part, ignored the conversation between his mother and Bill, the magazine completely occupying his attention.

"Lotsa things happen that we don't expect, like you chargin' me double for this goat's milk when I know you got a herd a them out back."

Bill looked back to Emma and shrugged. "Like I said, times are hard. Had to kill some of them since there wasn't enough feed." He stopped then acquiesced. "But for you, Emma, same price as last week."

Shortly after, Emma called to Jayne and shoved the crate of groceries at him. "Pleasure as always, Bill." She paused. "Jayne, you remember Bill?"

"No," came the gruff reply.

Emma smiled seeing Bill cringe just a little. "He's been here near as long as I have. Say hello."

Jayne grunted in Bill's general direction forcing the store owner to gulp. "Good ta see ya again, Jayne." He looked him up and down. "Filled out I see."

With a look of utter boredom, Jayne turned to his mother. "You done?"

Emma smiled sweetly. "Yes, son, I surely am."

As mother and son walked down the street, Jayne couldn't help but notice the looks he was still receiving. After nearly two months on Harvest, the people of Bountiful still hadn't fully accepted the return of the wayward son. The gawks of onlookers was unsettling to Jayne, mostly because he didn't much care for the attention. Now, if it had been young ladies looking his way then he'd be all smiles and showing his manly talents, but young ladies were harder to find here than fresh vegetables in the middle of winter. As it were, only young men seemed to give him any real pause for concern. He saw the looks in their eyes, the same kind he used to have. They wanted to prove themselves and besting a man like Jayne would go far in showing the people of the town how tough they were. For now, he was still on display, to be pointed at and wondered at.

Not even his mother escaped the allure of having Jayne back. "How long you gonna keep usin' my intimidatin' manner t'git what ya want, Ma?"

"Jayne, I've no idea what yer meaning." They reached the wagon and Jayne dropped the crate in the back before continuing.

"Mal used to do the same thing when we was out on a job." He climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"He struck me as a smart man that Mal." Emma took the adjoining seat and focussed her eyes straight ahead. Jayne knew the look and knew that she was finished with this line of conversation. Jayne let it go then smirked. Bill hadn't noticed the magazine Jayne had been reading was now in his coat pocket. _That'd learn him for trying to cheat my Ma._

A few hours after Emma Jayne and her boy had left the general store, Bill was visited by an official looking man intent on updating the list of wanted suspects around the Rim. Upon the officer's leaving, Bill strolled over to see who was new on the list. No one especially caught his attention, though he noticed that the bounty for a brother and sister had gone up to two-hundred thousand. Frowning at his loss for a potential winfall, he returned to sweeping and tidying.

**Before...**

"Cap'n, this ain't right." Kaylee pleaded with Mal. "You know it."

Mal placed gentle hands on the shoulders of his mechanic. "Not my decision to make. I can only do what's best for my crew."

"So us not going out on planet is best for all of us?"

"Yes."

Kaylee turned up the heat, flashing her saddest eyes and poutiest lip. "But Cap'n..."

Mal dropped his arms and pointed a finger. "No you don't. That face may work fine on Simon, but I'll have none of it."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't have to make it with Simon," she muttered loudly.

Mal opened his mouth to respond then thought the better of it. He instead left the kitchen and headed for the cargo hold, Kaylee in tow. "Jayne!" he called, "you're with me. Zoe, you've got the ship." He stepped up to his first mate. "Anyone wayward comes around, you let me know."

"Sir?" Zoe was mildly perplexed. The Captain had never assumed Zoe to be a stupid woman nor one needing of such an instruction as "Call if anything bad comes."

Mal eyed the catwalk and River walking along it. "Don't need little feet followin' to where we're goin'."

"Understood, sir."

Jayne barrelled between Kaylee and Mal, pulling his green hat on. He said nothing to either of them.

"Cap'n, it'd be real nice if we could maybe get out an stretch ourselves some," Kaylee suggested. She watched Jayne, wondering if he would look her way.

With a hit of a button, the ramp lowered and the oppressive heat washed into the hold. That and the smell of what seemed like a few hundred things that had died and no one bothered to clean up. "Kaylee, the decision's been made. This ain't no place for sightseein'. It's best for all to just keep on the ship."

She huffed, but said nothing more on the subject. "Well, then you two be careful yourselves. Make sure ya come back in one piece." She stared at Jayne. "Dong ma?"

Jayne only stood at the base of the ramp, tightening the flaps of his hat to keep the heat from scorching his skin. He didn't see Kaylee continue to watch their backs. Didn't want to see the concern in her eye that he could hear in her voice.

"Meet's just over that ridge," Mal announced after a five minute walk that felt like hours. "Should be easy-peasy." He looked to the silent merc. "What's with you?"

Jayne shrugged. "Don't know why we gotta walk in this gorram heat." His growly voice was grating on Mal.

"Middlemen got some fear of land ships that don't use land to get around." He switched subjects abruptly. "You been in a funk since we picked up post and I'm thinkin' that something's not quite right. If you want t'talk about it, I suggest you find someone willin' t'listen." He stopped at the base of a rise. "Stay here. If something goes amiss, I need you t'come in an rescue me."

Jayne nodded once.

"Ya might want to pull out a gun or something, just in case." He glared. "What is with you?"

"Nothin'."

"Well your nothin' better not become my somethin'." Mal ascended the rise and called out. After a minute, Jayne crawled up and poked his head over. Mal seemed to have everything under control, but things could change. He could barely hear them converse, something about picking up and dropping off shipments between Regina and Harvest. Seemed Harvest was having an especially bad winter and with crops not coming through again for the fifth year, times were becoming more than a bit horrific.

"Ta ma duh," Jayne cursed under his breath. If he needed a bigger sign, he would be waiting a long time.

The scene continued without hindrance and hands were shook. Mal walked back to the rise's drop off. "Good doin' business with ya. We'll be in touch." With a grin and a wave, he jumped his way down. "See? Easy-peasy." He slapped the big man's shoulder and smiled.

Only when Jayne's faced appeared jittery and shifty did Mal become suspicious. He drew his gun. "Where?" He scanned the horizon and only saw the heat-wavy shape of Serenity some distance away. "Jayne?" He chanced a glance at Jayne and saw him standing in a neutral position, his left hand loosely holding Jasmine and his right balled up.

A thought ran through Mal's head. "You ain't aimin' t'do me in now, are ya Jayne? Make some other backroom deal resultin' in me with the raw end." He faced the merc.

What in the seven levels of hell was Mal talking about. "Huh?"

Clearly, Jayne was not focussing on the job at hand. "What has gotten into you?"

"I need t'go home."

Yes, that conversation they were supposed to have had days earlier, but somehow never did. Mal holstered his pistol. "Tell me the particulars while we walk."

**Later...**

Sitting in the marginally upscale drinking establishment on Regina, Mal began to lose patience. He and Zoe had been waiting near on an hour for their contact to arrive to begin the pick up of merchandise. He was beginning to think that this entire deal was less of a scenic train and more of a run-away.

He finished his mug and thudded it onto the table. "Ain't got time to be waiting much longer."

"Need to finish that novel, sir?" Zoe responded dryly.

Mal glared. "Just don't like wasting my time is all." He scanned the full crowd. "Do you see him?"

Zoe was about to do her own surveillance when a voice made her stop.

"Good evening, Captain Reynolds."

"Well it's about gorram time," Mal began turning to the voice that greeted him. He stopped. "Didn't I get rid of you on Boros?"

The Information Man pulled out a seat which Mal quickly hooked with his leg. "Don't recall offering for ya t'get comfortable like."

"Don't recall asking." He jerked the chair from Mal's leg and sat. "You've had time to consider my offer."

"I've had time to forget your offer."

Information Man clasped his hands on the table. "Captain," he smiled, "how are we to come to a business arrangement if you won't even consider legitimate offers?"

"Easy. We don't." Mal rose and turned to Zoe. "Let's go."

Zoe moved to stand, but heard the click of a pistol being cocked. She eyed Mal who gestured for her to sit. Both looked to Information Man and the sudden appearance of a large bodyguard aiming the new Winger 52 series hand pistol standing conveniently behind.

"I suspected that you might need a little more persuasion," Information Man began. "Seems that money isn't enough." On cue, he reached into his coat pocket and dropped a coin on the table, barely enough to cover the drinks Mal and Zoe had ordered. "Let's begin again, shall we?"

Mal wanted to wring the ugly man's weasly neck. This man needed to be taken out quickly and quietly and if he had Jayne, the job would be done. Not altogether quietly, but sure enough quick. As it were, he was out a mercenary.

Information Man went on. "With so few Firefly class transport ships in existence, it seems that yours is the most likely candidate to have been the one involved with the Alliance some months back. Finding out who her captain was required a little innovative work, but was doable. Finding you was pitifully easy. You've amassed quite a base of contacts, Captain, not all of whom are endeared to you." He smiled, leering at the first mate. "Fill the correct palms with money and you can get nearly anything you want."

Zoe eyes darkened at the implication. This hwoon dun was not going to get more of a reaction than that, despite her brain screaming out to slice this guy a new face.

Returning his attention to Mal, Information Man continued. "Now the question becomes repetitive. What is the name of the planet?"

Mal was more than curious to know the reason for this man's intense interest in the dead world. The world that had tried to make the perfect human, but succeeded in only causing the death of two dear friends. Had his motivation speech to the crew been true? Was this some sort of Alliance or other government sponsored adventure into creating the best that he can be man? He paused; couldn't be Alliance. Mal's eyes narrowed. This was freelance work, maybe even non-Alliance corporate.

"What are ya offerin' me in exchange?" Mal played it cool.

Information Man smiled, something the Captain wished he would stop doing. "Beyond your lives, the lives of your crew and your ship?" He stopped and chuckled. "Sorry, didn't mean that to sound quite so ominous. Five thousand credits."

Mal blinked.

River sat across from Kaylee at the kitchen table. Their game of mahjong was nearly finished and River had wiped the floor with the mechanic.

"You're losing," she said.

Kaylee sighed. "Mind's not on it, I reckon." She fiddled with a playing piece.

"Too quiet without the big one."

"Naw, that ain't it, not exactly anyhow." She bit the inside of her cheek. "We just get Inara back then Jayne ups and leaves us."

"Too much change."

Kaylee nodded her agreement. "Don't feel like we got our family no more." She thought back to the day of Jayne's leaving, wondering if she had done something to push him out. Maybe he was mad at her for reading the letter.

"He's not angry," River announced. "He just didn't know what to do."

Kaylee faced River.

"He wanted to go home, but he is home. He wanted to help, but he can't." She shook her head sadly. "Didn't know what to do." She peered intently at Kaylee. "Want to play again?"

The mechanic smiled. "No." She stretched her arms up, feeling her shoulders crack a little. She'd spent too much time fiddling with Serenity and not enough fiddling with Simon. A sly smile spread across her face.

With a start, River giggled and picked up a piece. "Need to make a match. Fit one piece with the appropriate other piece."

Kaylee laughed then rose and pushed in her chair. "Think I'll go find my missin' piece." She grinned then went down to the infirmary knowing that Simon would be there.

"Not yours," River said to the empty kitchen. She opened her clenched hand, the wooden playing piece leaving indentations in her palm. "It doesn't fit you." She glided out and into the bridge to feel how Serenity was doing.

It was her light step with a hint of bounce that Simon noticed first. He lifted his head from the infirmary's monitor and immediately regretted not having done it sooner. He reached a hand to his neck to massage the muscles.

"Here, let me," Kaylee offered, gently pushing Simon's hand away. She slipped her fingers up the nape of his neck and back down in a slow rhythmic motion. "Feel better?" she inquired after a few minutes.

"Yes," Simon drawled. "Very better." His eyelids were so heavy. He just wanted to fall to sleep right here. That would be about perfect.

Kaylee smiled broadly. She bent close to his ear and spoke in her sexy voice. "Maybe you could take a bit away from brain exertion t'something a little more active."

"I'd love to..."

Kaylee stopped her massage and stepped back from him, tugging his hand toward her. She felt her heart beat faster. It had been a bit longer than their normal since the last sexing and Kaylee was feeling it. She wanted to feel Simon now.

Simon slid from the stool without thinking and allowed himself to be pulled to the mechanic. He couldn't help but grin. She was wearing the pink and white tee that had a deep neckline and highlighted the most important curves in the most important way. Sitting just below her hips were her overalls with the top half hanging loose. God, but she looked cute!

Reaching a hand to cup her cheek, Simon drew a long kiss and felt Kaylee begin to heat up. Pushing his hand through her thick hair, he pushed further into the kiss and chuckled at the tiny moan she gave back to him.

"What's so funny, Mr. Tam?" she asked, pulling back.

"You," he answered and tapped her nose. "Your happy little sounds." He leaned in for another kiss, but something made him stop.

The something was Kaylee's furrowed brow. "Hmm." She looked away. "Happy little sounds like a puppy?"

"That's not...I didn't mean it..." He scratched his head. How did this happen? "I just meant..."

"Oh, I know what ya meant, Simon Tam."

He winced, remembering the times his mother had used both of his names for when he had done something very bad as a child.

"I'm not a pet."

"I didn't mean to imply that you were." He tried to laugh off his anxiety. "You just make these little noises." He waited for the shoe to fall, again.

Kaylee eyed him then broke into a wide grin. "Yer still an easy mark." She punched him on the arm then hooked it into her own. "Now let's see about gettin' me some sex."

Until the day of his death, Simon would never understand girls or women.

**Before...**

"I'll forward your remaining effects," the woman on the wave screen said.

Inara nodded. "Thank-you."

The woman looked to each other a moment, the absence of words speaking for them.

"Good-bye, Inara."

"Good-bye, Syrene."

Inara ended the wave and placed the fabric back over the fabric. She waited then said, "I thought we had an agreement."

"We did," Mal popped his head around the corner. "I promise never to get involved in your personal honour where swords are involved."

Inara pushed down her anger. "What do you want?" She rose and began arranging candles that did not need arranging.

"Just thought I'd let ya know that we're gettin close to Regina."

"Thank-you." _And why did you do this personally when you could have used the intercom? _she wondered.

The pair stared at each other.

"Was there something else you wanted?" Inara finally asked.

Mal took a step. "Like what you've done with th' place." He continued to look into Inara's eyes. "It's real companion-y. I take it you've decided to stay permanent-like?"

"For now."

"Your students seem to be missin' ya."

"I wish you would stop eavesdropping on my private conversations."

He ignored the comment and continued to scan the shuttle. Some of it was familiar, the colours mostly and the white meditation Buddha, but it didn't feel the same as before. It was like something was missing and he couldn't quite figure out what. Where had that chest of sundries ended up?

"Mal!"

He slipped his hands in his pockets. "Yeah?"

"I need to go."

His eyebrows shot up.

Inara raised her own eyebrow. "To work?"

"Oh. Work. Right." He smiled. "Wouldn't want t'keep ya from workin', earnin' some honest coin." He backed up to the entrance of the shuttle. "Only gonna be on planet a day or so. That too long for ya?"

"Leave my shuttle." She moved to the door.

"Send us a postcard from the moon of St. Alban's." He jerked his hand back as the Companion slammed the door. She turned with an exasperated sigh. Malcolm Reynolds was the most annoying man she'd ever met.

And it endeared him to her beyond her understanding.

**Later...**

Sitting in the pilot's seat was both awkward and comfortable. A body could see where it was going, but not so much on where it had been. Most times, Mal liked it that way. Thinking on the past tended to get one in trouble as it usually meant forgetting about the present. But it was both the past and the present that were colliding in his brain and causing an awful headache.

He flipped a switch to show the newest info from the cortex. Scrolling past the usual mundane Alliance crap, he stopped at the few lines that were causing him such grief, though he admitted to snorting at the increased bounty on River and Simon Tam. Obviously, the Alliance didn't have to live with a Reader and a doctor who made his mechanic more than a little moonbrained.

No, these few lines were the heart of his problem. Propping a leg onto the console, he rubbed his lip with his thumb and forefinger. This complication was one he didn't have much time for.

"Sir, we're all set," Zoe announced. "Ship's ready. Sir?"

"Thanks." He didn't bother to look to her.

"Are you alright, Sir?" She now stood next to him.

Mal tapped the viewscreen and Zoe read the words. "You plan on doing something about that?"

"Think I ought to? His eyes narrowed. "God knows he wouldn't do th' same fer us." God had nothing to do with this. "Hell, he woulda called the Feds his own self and grabbed the bounty then be on his merry."

"You don't believe that." Zoe had moved to the co-pilot's console and leaned back. "Not after everything this crew's been through. What he's been through."

Mal frowned. "I reckon not, but do you look forward to puttin' this crew in more peril?"

"Not really the point." She stared him down, not having to remind him that the last time a man was left behind, he ended up dead. "What are you gonna do, Mal?"

In the years that he had known Zoe, Mal had never heard her call him anything other than Sir, Sarge or Captain, though she would on occasion add a few choice descriptors about his character or sexual habits. Things were changing with his first mate and he didn't wonder if that was bad.

"Go rescue his sorry ass, I guess." He looked to the viewscreen once more as though to verify that what he had read a dozen times before was still there.

It was.

_Jayne Cobb. Wanted on aiding and abetting known fugitives and in causing the deaths of Alliance officers has finally been caught. After an intense struggle which put two men in hospital and two others receiving minor injuries, he was finally brought under arrest on the border planet of Harvest. He awaits trial._

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

The Way - by ArtemisPrime

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon et al own the characters, 'verse and everything else in them. I'm only playing with his toys and not making a single bit of credit off this.

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter four

For the fifth time, Jayne cursed a streak that would have even made Mal reddened. For the fifth time, Jayne silently wished for Kaylee to arrive on the scene. She was the mechanical genius. He was just a merc. And mercs didn't know how to fix gorram ta ma duh tractors. This was not his area of expertise.

Holding his finger to his lips, he sucked on the blood that was freshly sprung from the screwdriver that Jayne had lost a grip on and jammed into his finger. Examining his wound, he sat on the hard ground and leaned heavily on the tractor tire.

This wasn't where he was supposed to be. No way in ruttin hell was he supposed to be trying to farm a farm that weren't meant to be growing anything other than dirt. It was crazy and it was just the kind of stubborn that his mother was known for. The woman was determined to claim her stake and damn the consequences.

Feeling his stomach rumble, Jayne rose and trudged the half mile back to the homestead. Maybe some food in his belly, even protein rations, would help him focus and give him the motivation to want to fix the tractor.

The wind blew through the sheets that Emma Jayne had put on the line. It did bring a sense of comfort to her son, reminding him of younger times when the dirt had been a playground. He got swatted more than once for playing in those sheets and causing them to fall and thus, to be re-washed. He snorted on the memory and smacked his hands across the front of his pants to clear away some of the dust. With the amount of swirling debris, he didn't see how his playing with them made a bit of difference. Sheets always had a bit of brown to them.

He entered the small home through the front with a call to his ma that he was there and needing some lunch. He tossed his boots off and went to the kitchen when no reply came. Shrugging at not finding her, he set about to making his meal. Setting the mash on the oversized wooden cutting block that doubled for a table, he went for a glass of water, though he would have preferred whiskey. Staring out the window, he became disgusted once again.

"Fields ain't never gonna grow nothin' but more dirt. Woman's crazy fer not leavin' after Mattie passed on." He flinched a little on saying his dead brother's name, but it had been close to four months and life was for living not rememberin'.

A flicker of dirty white caught the corner of his eye. Something about it looked wrong, like it was part up and part not. He figured he oughta fix it before his ma found out and likely blamed him for it.

But food came first and it would be ten minutes before he sauntered to the line. Getting closer, he could see that something was weighing it down. He yanked on the sheet to right it, but only succeeded in pulling it completely off the line. Pulling it aside, he looked down and felt his world stop.

Emma Jayne lay face down on the edge of the sheet, stone dead.

BR BR 

**Before...**

Kaylee sighed and crossed her arms over her chest as though to hold herself in. Striding past Jayne's vacant bunk, she felt an emptiness she hadn't expected. Maybe River had been right. Maybe it was too quiet without the big one. She walked down to the infirmary and sank deep into the couch.

She watched Simon get up, check some bit of paper, sit, scan a readout and then the monitor. He did it all without noticing his girl a few feet beyond the door.

Everything was all wrong and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what to do about it.

Simon stood once again and finally saw Kaylee looking small on the couch. He strode out of his medbay and carefully sat next to her. He placed his hands on his knees and tried desperately to think of something comforting to say, but nothing came. For a smart man, he was sometimes dim.

Kaylee watched him walk over, a smile forming that he had finally noticed her. Her smile, though, couldn't hide her sad face. Simon recognised that, tried to smile himself as a cheer to her, but stopped. He couldn't fake his emotions any more than Kaylee could.

The pair sat that way for long moments. It was very quiet beyond the hum of Serenity.

Simon slowly drummed his fingers on his knees, feeling awkward, but relishing the silence.

Truth be told, the last couple of months had been bliss. He was more than happy that Jayne had stayed behind on Harvest. His life was substantially less stressful without having to worry about Jayne turning him and River in. True, he had been helpful during the Miranda battle, but as Simon recalled, it was River who had saved their butts, not the hired gun. The hired gun hadn't done much saving at all.

He could see, though, that Kaylee was upset and needed a little something from him.

Moving his hand to Kaylee's knee, he attempted something consoling. "Kaylee, I know the last little while has been hard, with Jayne having left."

"I think I miss him."

Simon's brain froze. She missed him? The same man that purposely made jokes to cause discomfort for her? He breathed and remembered that they had known each other far longer than he had when he arrived on Serenity. He supposed that that kind of friendship might be able to tolerate crude jokes, but it was a weak supposition.

"I guess I can understand that. You and Jayne..." He didn't like the sound of that implication. "That is to say..."

Kaylee gently reached her own hand around Simon's. "You don't got to say it."

He sighed with relief.

"But it sure would be nice a ya t'try." She looked hopefully to his eyes. i Please, Simon, please say something that'll make Jayne's leaving okay. Tell me that we'll see him again. That this is just temporary. That our family will be together again. /i "'Specially with all the trials this crew's been through, be nice to hear somethin' good fer once."

Simon tightened his fingers around Kaylee's. "I don't know what to say." He shrugged. "It's Jayne."

The mechanic glared. "That all ya got to say about him?"

"Well, it's not like he's dead."

The look in the mechanic's eye nearly broke him. Tears quickly formed and threatened to spill.

She jerked her hand away and shifted her body to the far end of the couch. "How can you even say that? Not after everythin'..." She wanted to blink, the tears stung so bad, but she wasn't about to let them fall. Not in front of Simon. She stood quickly with her back to the Doctor. "Thought doctors was s'posed to take care a folk. Fix em up."

"Kaylee...I meant...just that..." He rose next to her and gently touched her shoulder.

With a violent shrug, she forced his hand from her. "I know what ya meant." She waited for him to deny it, to say something to try to make her feel better, but he made no sound. Shutting her eyes, the tears fell. She swallowed hard, steeled herself then walked away.

BR BR 

b Later... /b 

The saloon was probably the crummiest Jayne had ever been in and he'd been in some crummy ones. This one was right out of the old pictures he'd seen of the early west with dirt floors and walls filled with mud to keep out the wind. It stank of moldy beer and unbathed men. A lone light hung in the middle causing heavy shadows to confuse a body's eyes. It was more than a little hard to tell if an approaching shadow was something to worry on.

Still, it had alcohol and that was what Jayne wanted. The more the better to forget the images still repeating over and over in his brain.

He could see the local doctor coming out and turning over his ma, her body stiff and unyielding. Her eyes were open and it made Jayne sick.

He could see his mother's body lying in the mortuary, make up all cakey and wrong coloured as folks passed on by with their last respects. Whispers caught his ears of people wondering how Emma Jayne could have died so sudden-like, especially after the long-awaited re-appearance of the no account son. He knew what they thought; didn't have to be no gorram genius doctor on that.

He took another swig of the vile and warm beer to block the remembrance of the conversation with the local pig farmer wondering if Jayne was interested in selling his land now that it wasn't much use to him. He did smirk at thinking on the colour that fella's eye was going to turn once the swelling came down.

But there had been truth there in that ruttin farmer's question. What was he going to do with the land? Hell, he didn't want it and it weren't worth much to anyone else. If the gorram pigger thought he could make it a go then who was Jayne Cobb to say different?

God Almighty but he wanted to hit something else again! It was like he told the Shepherd near on a lifetime ago it seemed. Death made him want to live that much more, feel himself alive. With Mattie, the bar fight had done wonders to release the anger. With his ma, though, there was precious little to hit, 'cepting that farmer, and any ruckus he did cause was more than like to have him thrown in jail. Then where'd he be?

He stood with a sway and ambled to the bar for another mug. Course, selling the farm meant leaving Harvest and having someplace to go. Serenity was his first thought, but then he wondered just how welcomed he might be. Taking the beer back to his corner table, he sat heavily and let his brain ponder the need for him on ship.

River proved that they didn't need another merc. With Zoe more than capable in a fight, Jayne was just baggage.

He didn't know how to fly a ship, so pilot was out. Besides, Crazy seemed to have that down, too.

Cook? He immediately threw that out of his head. Crew made a point of expressing their displeasure when his meal turn came around.

That left precisely no reason for there to be a spot for his hulking self. He wasn't even sure he could go back anyways given that he left so sneaky-like. Just plum took off early in the mornin' without so much as a grunt of a good-bye t'anyone other than Mal. Zoe wouldn'ta much noticed, her still pining after Wash - guess he could understand that. Couldn't rightly imagine that Inara would pay it any mind seein' as she was doin' her own pinin' over Mal. The Doc and Crazy might'n have been okay with his silent departure, but he knew li'l Kaylee liked to make shows of such things.

For Kaylee's sake, he wished he'd at least said good-bye to her, even if she woulda made a spectacle of herself. Might even a given him a bit of hug. He scratched his forearm absently, feeling the need for some trim right then. He'd been far too long by himself and no matter how much self-serve he gave, he needed the feel of a woman around him.

He scrunched up his face when the first woman he thought on was Kaylee. He took a long drink to wash that image from his mind. Kaylee was the Doc's, no matter how much he didn't deserve her. Best not think on things that ain't never gonna happen.

"Jayne Cobb!" a voice boomed from the bar.

He rolled his eyes and took another drink. He was about to turn and wonder what the hwoon dun wanted when his question was answered.

"You are hereby placed under arrest for aiding and abetting known fugitives and assault causing bodily harm and death of Alliance officers. You are ordered to stand down with your hands behind your head."

With a slow push of his chair, Jayne rose and faced the officer who had spoken. Flanking him were three armed guards. He worked his jaw and wet his lips and saw that it made one of the guards flinch.

Only three, huh?

BR BR 

b Before... /b 

"Inara?" Kaylee knocked again. She looked down the catwalks, hoping to see Simon come after her. To see him want to apologise and to do whatever it took for her to forgive his insensitivity. And knew it was a fantasy.

"Kaylee!" Inara's smile was warm and geniune. "Please have some tea with me." She stepped away from the shuttle door to allow her friend to enter.

"That'd be real nice," Kaylee answered as she set herself on the velvet cushioned settee. She brushed her hand along the arms and bottom, feeling the soft richness. She gazed around the shuttle, seeing its crimsons and shimmery golds. This was a place of luxury, of wealth.

It was Core through and through.

Just like Simon.

Inara strode gracefully to the teapot and flicked the burner underneath to boil the water. Placing cups at the ready, she sat next to Kaylee. "Mei mei, what's on your mind?"

Kaylee chewed the inside of her lip. "Don't know if I can talk about it just yet." She saw the flash of concern on the Companion's face. "It ain't nothing bad, just hurtful." She angrily flicked away stray tears from her cheek.

Inara reached for a brush. "Then let me brush your hair."

Without further provocation, Kaylee slide down to the shuttle's floor and pulled the loose tie from her hair. Inara seated herself behind and began. Within minutes of the calming strokes, Kaylee felt herself relax. "You got such a way, Inara. Hypnotic like."

She didn't see the Companion smile. "Everyone has a way. It's what makes us unique and exciting." i Or bothersome and annoying /I she thought on Mal.

"You ever been with a client whose way ain't what ya thought it was?"

Inara noticed the subtle shift in Kaylee's shoulders, how they tightened slightly. "Occasionally."

Kaylee thought on this a moment. "So whaddya do?"

"Well," she continued her brushing, "sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine him to be someone else."

"What if that don't work?"

"It depends then. If he becomes more hostile, then I end the arrangement."

Kaylee's eyes widened. "You ever get in a hostile situation?"

Inara thought on the many arguments she'd had with Mal the last year and a half. "It happens. You just have to maintain calm."

The younger woman snorted lightly. "Have t'be a gorram saint," she said just as lightly.

The Companion continued to brush Kaylee's hair, waiting for her friend to go on when she was ready. She found herself become entranced with the steady rhythm of pulling the brush through. As much as the mechanic adored the attention of it, the Companion was the one who enjoyed the peacefulness of it.

Only when the tea pot boiled did she allow herself to be brought back to the moment. She handed Kaylee the ornate brush while she prepared the tea.

Kaylee examined the carving detail of the old ivory and wood-handled instrument. Didn't seem right that something so fine should be used on hair that was routinely showered with engine grease. Still, she couldn't help but think on how pretty the brush was. She could only imagine how much it would have cost.

"It was given to me by the housemistress once I passed my tests," Inara explained. She gazed in memory at the item. "All the girls received a gift, but when she handed it to me, she said 'There isn't anyplace outside of Earth-That-Was where you can find ivory. It is a one-of-a-kind, like you.'"

Kaylee could see the hint of sadness in Inara's eye, as though being out here in the black was a punishment. "I'm sorry, Inara."

She blinked softly. "For what, honey?"

"That you got t'spend all yer time with folk like me. Out here an' away from people that can afford t'give ya stuff like this." She handed back the brush.

"Kaylee, don't ever think that about yourself. You bring a light to this ship, a spirit that fills us all. And no trinket can begin to capture that." She knelt and reached for Kaylee's hands to hold in her own. "There is no black when you are here."

Fresh tears formed in Kaylee's eyes. Why couldn't Simon say such things? He had the best schooling, best homes, best of everything like Inara and all he could do bumble his way through on the Rim.

He bumbled because he had to, not because he wanted to. And that separated him from Inara. She wanted freedom; he wanted security for himself and his sister. River forced him to run and hide far from their home.

Kaylee shut her eyes tight. No, no! She wasn't going to think such bad things about River. She liked River, though maybe not so much when she was killing. It wasn't her fault what they done to her. And Simon was only doing what he had to. River was his sister and was his first concern.

Always.

Inara handed her a small cup of hot tea. "Why are you upset, mei mei?"

The mechanic took a sip and tried to collect her thoughts. "I ain't never gonna be first, Inara," she finally said. "I ain't never gonna be right."

Sliding next to her friend, Inara wrapped her arm around Kaylee's shoulders, understanding immediately her sorrow at the realisation. "He does care for you."

"I know."

"But not enough."

Kaylee shook her head. "An' what makes it worse, is that I ain't got the right to ask to be more. I know he's doin' right with River. I do! An it's selfish a me to say that I got to be first, that it oughta be me." She let herself fall into sobs. She felt caught between the vacuum of space and a black hole. There didn't seem to be any good ending.

Inara did the only thing she could and let her friend cry until she could cry no longer.

br BR 

Thirteen.

Lying in her bunk, River counted the number of cycles of Serenity's gravity spinner.

It gave her more focus and calm than anything her boob brother concocted. She giggled. He really was a boob. He'd spent the last three days hiding out in his medical lab, cleaning it, arranging and re-arranging it until it was so spotless it made her ill. Too clean was not good. People needed a little dirt in their lives. Made them human.

Fourteen.

She rolled to her side and faced the wall. She created hand puppets with the shadows and a story to match about dragons and sea monsters. About heroes and villains. She couldn't tell who was the good guy or bad guy, but they were there, somewhere.

Nineteen.

She now lay on her back and closed her eyes. Kaylee was coming and she was nervous. She had been since her fight that wasn't a fight with Simon. Her friend was afraid of what River could read in her mind. She knew, of course, but it didn't matter. River had caused her brother to leave his life and be forced into this one. But she hadn't caused him to put her first. That was the boob all by himself.

Twenty-one.

She heard Kaylee stop at her door, confused as to whether or not to knock. In the end, she went past and found refuge in the engine room. River slowed her breathing and let the ship's pulse become her own. The humming, the vibration, filled her and it felt good. This was the clean that Simon craved, but he wouldn't understand. Because he was a very smart boob.

Twenty-four.

BR BR 

b Later... /b 

The remnants of the crew sat around the wooden table listening to the Captain describe the current dilemma. When he finished, no one said a word.

River watched everyone, hearing their thoughts all at once. Zoe was not calm on the inside. The last time Mal had made such a speech, she'd lost a husband. She was not altogether jumping at the chance to lose someone else.

Inara was focussed, understanding very well the level of loyalty the Captain felt to his crew. True, it was Jayne, but because it was Jayne, she realised that he was going to need help. His level of intelligence demanded it.

Kaylee was worried and fretting. Images of bad men and not-so-men bright flashed through her mind. But there was also worry that Jayne was not going to come home, that maybe this would be the final fight for the merc. She chewed her thumbnail.

Simon was the most perplexing. While he should be the most adamant about letting Jayne lie in his own bed once made, Simon was torn. He didn't like the hired gun any more, perhaps even less, but his argument with Kaylee had caused him to pause and consider what the man meant for the crew. For Kaylee. As much as he wanted Jayne to serve for his crimes, he didn't want to further upset Kaylee and eliminate any chances at reconciliation.

"Confusing," River said.

All eyes turned to her. "You got somethin' to say, li'l Albatross?"

She looked at Mal with clarity and intent. "Jayne's not part of the crew, but he is. He's a bad man, but he's not. It's all very baffling with no logic whatsoever."

"It's not always about logic, River," Zoe said.

"It's about heart," River replied. "And emotion and guts and feelings. I understand." She looked to Mal again. "It's about faith."

The Captain shifted his stance slightly. "Well, whatever some such. Point is, Jayne's in a heap a trouble. If you want in, give your say. Else stay on the ship." He waited a beat then left for the bridge.

People scanned each other around the table, wondering who would be first to say something.

"It's true," Zoe began, surprising nearly everyone, "That Jayne and me never did see eye to eye on most things. But he's still our crew."

Simon spoke up. "Uh, well, in point of fact, no, he's not."

Kaylee glared and stifled a groan. Just like Simon to say that. Couldn't let it go on by.

"He left this ship, and didn't even have the decency to say farewell to anyone." He looked pointedly at Kaylee, desperately trying to ignore her angry face. "I don't believe that he's shown much loyalty to us." He now turned to River, knowing that she saw his thoughts on the Ariel heist.

"You just ain't knowed him-" Kaylee started.

"I know him well enough. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't want River or myself here. He simply has no compassion for others."

"That ain't so!" Kaylee now stood and Zoe raised an eyebrow. "He cares plenty for folk here. He went after the Cap and Wash-" Her lip twitched at the mention of the beloved pilot. "When Niska took 'em, he helped in the rescue. An' he risked his own life when we went after the Lassiter. Then all the help he gave in protectin' the Cap'n from the re...at Mr. Universe's. Weren't no one there to make him do those things."

"He does it for money, Kaylee, and that's all."

River was now annoyed with her brother. Any chances he may have had at getting back into Kaylee's good graces just evaporated.

Kaylee looked to Simon her arms crossed. "No, it ain't all. Sometimes there's more important things than money. And Jayne knows it." She scanned the faces unable to comprehend why they was arguin' 'bout this.

"Family," River said with a smile.

"Thank-you, sweetie," Kaylee said. "We all are like a family and they look out for one another."

River frowned. "Not us. His. Went to be with his ma. To help her, not look for money."

"Well, there," she continued, extending a hand towards River. "Don't that warrant a bit a help from us?"

The rest of the table quieted once again until Zoe pushed her chair back and stood, straight as ever. "I'm going." She looked to each in turn then went to her bunk.

Kaylee smiled, but stopped when Inara spoke. "Jayne has caused more than his share of grief to this crew, Kaylee." There was something almost apologetic in her tone. "But River is right. He went to help his mother and that makes him..." She paused to add emphasis to the word. "Noble." She caught Simon's eye, hoping that he saw the parallel with his own familial situation.

He did. Shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth, he breathed deeply. "Fine, I'll help rescue the man-ape."

"Not a man-ape," River reminded him.

Not in a mood to continue arguing, Simon relented. "Not a man-ape." Turning his attention to the still standing Kaylee, he wondered what she was thinking. For once, her face was unreadable. "We're likely to need a doctor regardless of what I think."

"You're all heart, Simon Tam." Kaylee left for the engine room.

Simon followed her out with his eyes then saw Inara watching him, her Companion-trained expression revealing nothing. Feeling like a little boy, he sheepishly rose and headed back to the infirmary.

Inara remained seated a moment longer then delicately removed herself from the table. River looked around the empty kitchen. "No more pieces."

BR BR 

"Mal," the Companion called into the bridge.

He didn't bother to look her way. "Quick verdict, I take it." He flicked his thumb across his lower lip. "Didn't reckon there'll be many t'come t'the rescue."

Inara stood a little behind his chair. "Everyone's agreed to help you get Jayne out."

Mal's eyebrows bobbed up then down. "Weren't figurin' on that. Guess the bad boy's made himself a few friends."

"It's not about Jayne. Not entirely." She took a step forward. Her expression was soft and non-argumentative. She reached her hand to his shoulder and felt his sudden and slight jerk underneath.

He smiled in spite of himself. Turning in his chair, he looked to the woman that gave him such a fog. "Everyone agree?"

She nodded.

Mal stood, now inches from Inara. He smelled her light scent, saw light reflected in her dark eyes. "Then I guess I better not disappoint." He halted. "Most like to be some ugly happen."

Inara only reconfirmed her resolve. Mal saw it and smiled. "Good. But when the ugly does happen-"

"You'll be filling it with holes." She smiled now, bright and warm.

And Mal smiled back.

BR BR 

With a giggle, River walked down the hall to the kitchen. The pieces were coming back together.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon et al own the characters, 'verse and everything else in them. I'm only playing with his toys and not making a single bit of credit off this.

Rating: Teen and up for language

Summary: finding your way can take you to all kinds of places. Post-BDM.

Chapter five

"_Shepherd Book once told me: if you can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right."_

The words echoed through Mal's head as River took the ship through Harvest's atmosphere. He could see Jayne sitting at the head of the table, taking a deep drink to muster the courage to face the truth of Mal's little speech then sliding the bottle to Simon. That was about as close to friendly as he figured Jayne would get to the Doc.

This little adventure was about as far from smart as he could get. Wasn't sure if it was right neither, but it was Jayne and crew wasn't about right or smart. It was about faith.

River had been right those few days ago in the kitchen. Book, too.

He shoved the memory of Book's bloody hand tightly gripping the back of Mal's head as he slotted another bullet into the clip. He wasn't entirely looking for a fight, but figured a little paranoia might not be inappropriate.

"Sir, we're almost on ground." Zoe stood in front of Mal as each prepared themselves in the cargo hold. Her words were a statement, but her eyes asked the question: Is this going to work without anyone else dying?

Mal took a longer than normal look down the sightline of his gun. He twirled it twice before holstering it. Staring now at his first mate, they spoke the silent words of soldiers prepping for battle. Both knew that anything could happen, and usually did. "C'mon," Mal broke with, "let's call the troops."

"Simon?" Kaylee tentatively called into his bunk. "Si-" She stopped mid-word as he stepped in front of the doorway. "Oh." She tapped her hands in nervousness.

"Is something wrong, Kaylee?" Simon stood close to her, his voice soft and low, just how he knew she liked it. The voice he used when they were alone and doing their sex.

"Wrong? Oh, no, nothing exactly. Other than a bit a lawbreakin'." She felt her heart quicken. "It's just...well, we're goin' off t'do this rescuin' thing." She bit her lower lip. This conversation had gone much better in her head. "An well..."

Simon reached a tentative hand to her arm and was rewarded with her allowing him the touch. "Everything's going to be fine." He smiled lightly. "We'll get Jayne back."

"I know," she said softly. "But just, in case, ya know, somethin' doesn't go t'plan, I didn't want us." She paused and swallowed. "I didn't want us to part on bad terms, is all."

Simon's fingers were a little stronger on Kaylee's arm. "I know I haven't been exactly...generous with myself the last while. I just get so involved with my work that I lose track. Sometimes it seems like finding a cure for River is all I have."

Kaylee could only look everywhere but at Simon's face. He had said what she knew to be true in those last words. And he said it without maliciousness, without intent to hurt. River was first, he said. Always.

Didn't make it hurt any less.

"Oh, Kaylee, that's not what I meant. I only-"

She stopped him. "Simon, I didn't come here for a fight. Only to say that if somethin' bad does happen, I just wanted us to be good before. Don't want none of us thinkin' that our last words were somethin' we'd regret t'the end of our own days. Dong ma?"

The Doctor nodded and dropped his hand from her arm. "It's good. You're good."

"Well, Doctor, you know yer role in all a this?" Mal eyed the younger man.

"I do."

"Good then." Scanning the entrance to the first shuttle, he saw Inara glide her way down, appropriately clothed in high-end wealthy wear and sheer veil. His breath caught in his throat before he realised it. Recovering, he spoke. "I don't much like puttin you in th' line a risk."

The Companion smiled. "You're not." She pulled away her outer robe to reveal the small hand gun neatly concealed on her inner forearm.

"Still an all." Mal's anxiety was growing. Outer planets had less than honourable folk that wouldn't take much provocation to kidnapping a bona fide Companion, or worse. Reavers was worse. He tried not to think on how lucky she'd been at Mr. Universe's. The picture of her in anywhere near the same planet as reavers made him sick.

"Sir." Zoe broke his thoughts.

"Right." He faced his little band of jailbreakers. "Y'all know what to do so let's do it. Kaylee, make sure the ship's ready to fly hard outta here."

"Got it, Cap'n." She shoved her hands into her coveralls pockets. "Me an' River'll be waitin'."

Simon made a halting move towards Kaylee, but stopped himself. This wasn't the time. Everyone had a job to perform and he couldn't risk letting any of them down. Even the man-ape.

Mal nodded, eyed Zoe then turned to stride down the ramp of the cargo hold. "Let's be bad guys."

"What do you mean he's not here?" Simon stared dumbfounded at the local sheriff.

"Like I tol' ya, Cobb was sent his way with'n the Officer near on a week past." The sheriff chewed on a tough piece of jerky and gave Simon a look like he was speaking to a three year old. "He's done gone 'way."

Simon turned to Inara, frantically thinking on the implications of what the sheriff was telling him. "Well, Sister," he continued, "it would seem that our dear brother has disappeared once again."

Inara approached the rough man. "Sheriff, would you happen to have the destination papers of the prisoner transfer? Afterall, how is a family to retrieve its lost son if one doesn't know where to look?" Her smile was only one wile she used on the hapless man. The gentle touch of her hand on his bent elbow, the ease of her voice and her low cut top all served her purpose well. Within minutes, the Doctor and the Companion stood outside the jail with Mal and Zoe looking over the transfer orders.

"Ta ma duh!" Mal cursed under his breath. "Had to be Persephone."

Flying four days knowing that the destination was less than desirable had the effect of putting the entire crew on edge. People barely spoke to each other as they each thought on their experiences on Persephone and Core worlds in general.

Simon took to hiding in his medlab, though Mal suspected it had more to do with Kaylee than with the bounty on the Tams' heads. He supposed some turn of events had split the pair and was both happy and saddened by it. The one rule he knew to be the best, besides always listening to the captain, was no shipboard romances. Life was too difficult to throw in that spanner. But little Kaylee had made her choice, short-lived happy as it may have been. His heart sank a little as he heard less of her cheerfulness as the days progressed.

Zoe paced. She felt pent up energy that had no adequate release so she lapped the halls and walkways of the ship. The more she moved, the less she thought. The less she thought, the less she worried. And worrying was Wash's job.

There was very little to do and it made everyone fidgety and nervous.

When River called Mal to the bridge, he was grateful for the distraction. "What's up, Albatross?"

She pointed to the comm screen. "Message for you."

Mal flipped the switch, failing to see the dark expression on his pilot's face.

He would soon have the same as he watched the recorded message. By the end, his fingers were nearly breaking into the leather seat and his temple throbbed.

"You knew?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Bits. Parts," River answered. "Not the whole." She now sat with her legs drawn close, arms wrapped around them and her chin on her knees. She felt the Captain's rage. "Nee ta ma duh tyen-shia suo-yo duh run doh gai si," she whispered.

Mal stared unbelieving at what he just heard little River say. It took some of the hate away and he breathed out loudly. "Yeah."

The orders had been clear enough, Kaylee knew, but she couldn't help but wonder what was happening. "Stay on the ship and keep her ready," the Captain had said. "Do not leave under any circumstances."

So many times she was left behind to keep the ship in the ready. It left her to imagine how the deal was going down. Most times, she could find something to occupy herself, some repair or overhaul, but not now.

Only two things were in her brain as she swung slowly in the hammock listening to the sounds of the ship: Simon and Jayne. She felt rather foolish for her words to him when they thought Jayne was on Harvest. Sounded so melodramatic. Yet she'd said them just the same. And he'd told her very clearly what she suspected and didn't want to admit. Since then, they'd done their best to avoid each other, only making her feel that much more foolish.

The Captain and Zoe were most like to be gone a couple of hours. Inara had left, this being a Core world, likely doing her private business, which left Kaylee very nearly alone. Maybe she could talk to Simon to clear the air and make life more livable for them on ship. It wasn't a conversation she wanted to have, but it needed to be done.

"Kaylee?"

She jumped at the quiet voice that called to her. "Simon!" She very nearly fell out of her hammock. Simon was instantly there to help. Gulping, she melted at the dark eyes staring at her. Eyes that were telling her what she most did not want to hear.

He hated the waiting. Four days was a long time for nothing to happen. His medlab was impossibly clean, his eyes were going buggy from looking at scans and printouts and he had precisely nowhere else to go.

Except the engine room.

Simon knew that he had to speak with Kaylee, to deal with the new situation they found themselves in. He had put it off hoping that it would go away, foolish as he knew it to be.

Putting down his reader, he stood and took a deep breath. Yes, this was the time for him to see Kaylee, to lay it out and see what comes. Very little was going to happen until the Captain, Zoe and Jayne made a chaotic and hostiles-chasing return. If he wanted privacy, this was the only time he would likely receive.

"Get that medlab prepped, Doctor," Mal had instructed. "We're walkin' into th'mouth a hell and don't figure on comin' out near a pretty as goin' in." Simon thought the comment strange given that his lab was always ready for any emergency. That the Captain thought the rescue might be a more than dangerous seemed obvious. They were, so he was told, breaking into a high level security prison. The Doctor had wracked his brain trying to see how it could come out anything other than dangerous.

But he was no longer the criminal mastermind. He had no moustache.

He chuckled lightly on the memory of Book asking about his new career. There were times when he missed the companionship of the Shepherd. He knew that Book respected what Simon had done to get River out, all the sacrifice he'd undergone. He had become an assistant in trying to discover the extent of the damage done by the Alliance to his sister. Sitting in the cold lab was lonely without him.

Putting down the print-out, Simon left his lab, went up the stairs and instead of going left went right without thinking. He stood just inside the door of the cockpit, marvelling at the world rotating below him. A world not unlike that he used to call home.

It had been only a few hours earlier, when they had first come close to Persephone, that Simon had stood in the same place, watching his sister and watching the world become larger and larger.

"_We won't get caught," River had said, answering his silent question. "Keep the sun between us and the planet and sensors can't gain a solid lock. I've also re-configured the pulse beacon to transmit a different frequency modulation." She grinned over at him. "Playing hide and seek."_

_Simon grinned. For all her killing talents, his sister was still just a girl._

"_Not a girl anymore," she continued then stuck her tongue out at him. _

"_River, you've got to stop reading peoples' minds. Or at least not comment on what you know. They tend to not like it." He now stood next to her, still gazing at the blue planet. He wondered if this is what the first travellers felt when they first looked down on Earth-That-Was. It was just so calm and awing. He felt like he was in a temple._

"_Then stop being a boob."_

"_Being a...what did you...what?"_

"_Stop playing hide and seek. Talk to her." She pointed in the direction of the engine. She re-positioned herself at the helm. "I'm busy."_

_Simon gaped. Was he just being ordered out by his little sister? "Don't answer that," he said aloud. Having a reader on board was going to take considerable thought control._

The Doctor sighed. Maybe that control could help him salvage a relationship with Kaylee. Taking one last look at the world, he left the bridge.

He watched her swing in the hammock for a long moment, seeing her feet dangle over in her Chinese sandals. He followed the line of her legs to the bend of her hips and the curve of her breasts as they sat closed in by her arms. He remembered the skin around her neck being especially sensitive and soft to his touch. His fingers ached to touch it again.

The orange light above her head made her seem an angel. A beautiful, passionate angel. He knew then what he had to say, what he had to do and it was the antithesis of what his heart was telling him.

Mal walked the crowded streets of the port, his focus sharp and his mission clear. Even Zoe had to nearly trot to keep pace, but she wisely made no comment. She knew the look in her Captain's eye and it very clearly said "Don't fuck with me."

The pair worked their way through the multitude of vendors in a dozen languages. They dodged children and livestock and turned their faces when Alliance grunts passed them. Getting pinched now would be not good, to say the least.

Finally, Mal stopped. He scanned the now thinned crowd until he found what he was searching for. Without a word, he went left into a darkened tunnel, Zoe continuing to follow. At the end was an office-type space, very similar to Badger's haunt. The first mate cringed on the thought of that weasel.

Mal stepped through the opening and stopped. Zoe surveyed the new environs and was impressed. A real crystal chandelier hung above them and provided the sole light. The carpet they stood on was probably worth more than Serenity. The large desk was made of real wood, cherry coloured and thick. Along the walls were a variety of modern paintings, some pastoral landscapes, and other dark and horrid death images.

Flanking the desk were four very muscular and dumb-looking bodyguards, two of them with no shirts to showcase how big their muscles were. Zoe would have laughed; bulk meant little in a street fight. Hell, she could take them down with her little finger. She suppressed the smile of Wash being intimidated by her comment early on in their courtship.

"You got somethin' I want," Mal started, coming straight to the desk, ignoring the standing meat.

Information Man smiled with closed lips. "Captain Reynolds." He gestured to a seat. "Please, sit."

Mal made no move.

Information Man sat back in his oversized leather chair and interlaced his fingers. "The least you could do, Captain, is be a little more hospitable. After all, we are not animals."

"You got somethin' I want," Mal said again. Zoe tensed herself, knowing that the Captain did not like repeating himself.

"Tea?" Information Man nodded to a guard who then offered the captain a cup from a hidden stand. "It's not laced with anything, I assure you." He waited then shrugged and took the cup for himself. "Now, let us begin again, for the third time."

"No, let's finish this for the last time."

A toothy smile was flashed, one that needed some dental work. "We agree. Tell me the name and I'll let your man go." He took a sip. "It really is that simple. No tricks, no hidden agendas. No hidden bombs." He huffed. "Bombs," he whispered to himself. "Now that would truly be uncivilised."

Placing the cup delicately on a coaster on the desk, Information Man stood and slowly walked around until he faced the Captain. "No answer again? Very well." He looked to his right and the guard there pushed a button. A moment later, the sound of water was heard faintly from the back. A moment after that, a muted scream came forth. It continued as Information Man looked Mal in the eye.

Mal didn't blink. He couldn't. He knew what this slime was doing and who he was doing it to.

Ten seconds passed before Information Man signalled a stop. The cry ended.

"I've no idea how much longer he'll be able to do this, Captain Reynolds. He's been through so much already." He leaned against the highly polished table. "Come back tomorrow."

Zoe blinked. This hwoon dun was letting them go? This made no sense.

Mal leaned over the man. "I'll go when I get what I came for."

Information Man continued to smile his annoyingly sick smile. "I don't think so." On cue, all guards raised their weapons and cocked the bullets into place.

"Kill me, you lose your precious information."

Information Man eyed Zoe and Mal caught the implication. His eyes narrowed dangerously close. "You don't touch him or any other of my crew." His voice was barely audible. "Or you'll wish to whatever high and mighty that I do kill you."

"Have you ever read the works of Shan-Yu?"

A minute later, Information Man was rubbing a sore jaw from where Mal had punched him. Hard. All guns were now very close to the Captain and First Mate, but held until given the order. No order seemed coming as Information Man began laughing.

"Oh Captain. I was wondering how long it would take." He now stood behind his desk. He flicked a switch opening a comm channel. "Shan-Yu, Mr. Green." The smile on his face grew then receded as the counter-reply did not come forth. Information Man nodded his head towards the nearest guard to have him determine why Mr. Green had not responded.

Zoe felt the silence keenly. With three other guns trained on her, she was attuned to every stir and disturbance in anticipation of a showdown. Silence would help her in that regard. She continuously shifted her gaze across each bodyguard and Information Man. She made no gesture or motion for her sidearm. She was too good for that.

When a reply was still not heard from, Information Man called again to Mr. Green. Nothing.

Suddenly, a scream came forth and Information Man smiled. "You see, Captain Reynolds, what happens when you don't co-operate?"

Mal smiled his own self. "Guess I don't play well with others."

Information Man indignantly threw off the comment. He turned his back and whispered to his closest guard who then left.

"Trouble in paradise?" Mal inquired, eyebrow raised. His question was left unanswered and he looked to Zoe. Neither had made a move to their guns.

Silence once again reigned and Mal could see a fine line of moisture across the thinning brow of his captor. "It gettin' a mite warm to you, Zoe?"

"Not especially, Sir."

"Huh." Mal held his hands in front of him. "Seems like your boys are havin' a gatherin' in the back. Maybe aimin' t'do ya in."

"Bi-zui," Information Man spit. "This isn't your day. It's mine."

He put a finger to his mouth in mock thought. "Or maybe somethin' ain't quite kosher back there. Best check it out."

"Remove the smug look, Captain. My men are full competent and completely loyal to me."

Mal shrugged. "If'n ya say so."

Another scream, mixed with a gurgle was heard. "You see?"

"Guess you were right," Mal replied with a smile. He saw Information Man's thumb twitch. Apparently so did the two remaining guards and they gave each other a worried look.

"Take their weapons," Information Man ordered. "Take them-"

"Boss?" the comm interrupted.

He rushed to the intercomm. "What's happening?" he asked in a desperate voice before he regained control. "Is the prisoner...fine?"

"Better than."

The blood drained from his face. He employed no females.

Before he could say anything, the rear door opened and a semi-automatic machine gun came through. Followed by a slight, long-haired girl that hardly looked strong enough to pick up the gun let alone fire it.

"What is the meaning of this? What have you done-"

River pointed the gun and Information Man stopped. "Orders, Captain?"

"Zoe, grab theirs." Mal pointed to the guards as he walked quickly to River. "Hold him here until we get Jayne out."

River stared at him with wide eyes, but said nothing.

"You can't do this!" Information Man began yelling. "You're nothing! A petty thief on a piece of go se ship!"

"Shhh," River admonished. "Don't let Kaylee hear or you'll be in real trouble."

Mal couldn't help but grin. "Maybe I can't do this, but here's the proof otherwise."

Information Man now shook with rage. Lunging, he went to the nearest guard and ripped a gun from the man's holster. Before he could aim, three shots from three places ended his existence. Mal and Zoe then aimed their weapons at the remaining guards.

"Now you boys gotta choice," Mal began. "Drop your arms and leave or drop your arms and leave. Up to you."

Without hesitation, both men lowered their guns to the ground. Zoe continued to train her sights on them while Mal removed any other armaments. "Your boss may a told you that this wasn't personal, that it was just a way a doin' business." He hefted the guns onto the large desk and dropped them with a crash. "But he lied. On your knees."

"You said we could leave," one guard said after settling down.

"Oh yeah." Mal flipped his revolver and butt-ended the whiny guard in the back of the head, knocking him out. "Guess I lied, too." He stared at the other, who was now shaking his head no. Mal nodded yes and the second one then joined the first to lie sprawled on the expensive rug.

"C'mon," Mal instructed his group. They headed back not stopping to see the damage done to the large men by River. He hoped that they weren't dead, but he wasn't about to lose sleep over it if they were.

What he did see, though, was going to make him lose much sleep and many daylight hours. He swallowed his disgust and hurried to Jayne.

"Wait!" River cried.

Mal stopped and looked at her. She pointed to the long cable hanging from the ceiling and had to swallow his disgust a second time. That was likely a live wire and given the water near enough to Jayne, Mal put two and two together. "Where's the switch?"

Zoe found it first and cut power. It had the effect of turning out the only light leaving the group in darkness.

"Fuck!" Mal bellowed. "Can't any ta ma duh thing work, gorram it!"

A second later, Zoe's penlight was flashed towards him. He made a note to thank her later. Reaching Jayne, he reached up to pull on the chain holding the mercenary's arms above his head. With a hefty tug, it came down, slumping Jayne further onto his knees until Mal caught him. "Grab his legs," he instructed Zoe. "River, get the light and find us the gorram door." He re-positioned his arms underneath Jayne's. "River?" Where in hell was she? "River!"

"Here, Captain," she announced. "Made sure." She reached Zoe and took the light. "No one'll know," she added now aiming the light to the door.

Not bothering to wonder what she meant, Mal lifted Jayne and Zoe followed with Jayne's legs. With a struggle, they burst through the door and were blinded by the afternoon light.

Mal leaned against the nearest wall to rest. "Where's the shuttle?" he said between breaths. Jayne was not an easy man to carry.

"Around the corner," River pointed. She bounded ahead then motioned for them to come. They rounded the corner and saw Inara patiently sitting in the cockpit. She opened the hatch immediately upon seeing the group.

"How is he?" she asked as they lugged Jayne in.

"Just get us flyin'," Mal instructed. He sealed the hatch and felt the shuttle lift off. Zoe was there with bandages and gauze to begin administering basic first aid. She simply went into soldier mode, opening packs without thought as to who it was lying on the floor. She couldn't look to Mal, couldn't see the horror in his face over what he saw. She couldn't either and instead focussed on small parts, imagining that he was some grunt.

But he wasn't a grunt. He was family.

River was the only one who looked at Jayne, who saw the red and pain. She sat next to his head, searching through, unsure of what she was looking for or what she would find. Placing a light finger to his brow, she slowly dragged it down and over the wounds, feeling the heat and rawness. She smiled at this. Heat meant heartbeat. And heartbeat meant living.

Mal saw River's smile and wondered how in the 'verse she could be smiling at the mess in front of her, but he didn't question it. All he could do was watch Zoe press and wrap as much as she could. Unable to watch any longer, he went to the cockpit and slumped into the empty chair. He saw the sky turn to black and was thankful. Serenity would come into sight very soon and he would be home.

As the shuttle docked and the hatch released, Inara remained at the controls. She heard rather than watched Simon jump inside and do a preliminary exam of the patient. Kaylee's concerned voice reached her ears, but still she sat. Until the shuttle was empty and all sounds gone did Inara let herself lose control. Tears fell as she bowed her head, staining her silken dress. How could anyone do something so horrible to someone? With reavers, she expected it. But with men?

She breathed in, wiping her cheeks. Swallowing and calming herself, she rose and went to the exit. She stopped abruptly upon seeing Mal blocking her path. Even in the shadow, she could see his pained expression. Within a beat, he was with her, arms holding her in. She reached her own around him and felt him tighten his hold.

There was no anger between them. No argument. There was only shared, silent grief.

End.


End file.
